Why you can’t seem to find your “elevator pitch” and what that might say about you– especially as a visionary artisan-level entrepreneur.
Let’s play a game I like doing with my clients….
Pretend we are at a professional get-together.
You’ve got your little plate of pretzels and hummus and obligatory drink in hand. It’s a pretty light atmosphere and people are mingling around making small talk.
Someone you’ve seen but never really met approaches you.
As they smile and say hello….after the “greeting and names” bit you know the question that comes next.
“What do you do?”
How do YOU feel about being asked that question?
Most of the people I work with dread that question.
I’ve noticed a few different responses in people I’ve played this with over the years:
1. Have a “normal people” answer they default to. It’s not untrue, but it’s not REALLY what they do. (Example: when you answer with a job title that you USED to have or do because it’s just easier.)
2. Have an “impressive-sounding” title or job. Again, it’s not made up but it’s also designed to impress the other person that you are doing “really important work” and validate any insecurity you might have.
3. Have a “wonky answer” (like….”helper of humans”). This one is tricky, because it MIGHT invite conversation, but sometimes when someone uses the wonky answer they are trying to be seen as special, unexplainable, or interesting.
4. Have a “kitchen sink” answer. If you are trying to explain it all: your methods, your process, your training, etc. If their eyes glaze over, and you realize you’ve been answering their question nonstop for 15 minutes straight without a breath. THIS might be you.
5. Have a “throwaway” answer. Basically, you just want to be out of the question so you’ll blurt anything to move on.
6. Have an “elusive” answer. Something that basically doesn’t answer but you redirect them to talk about themselves.
What camp do you typically fall into?
Did I miss one?
None of our typical reactions are “wrong”. And, with awareness and skill, you can learn to use ANY of them effectively. It’s about where these strategies are coming FROM that makes the difference.
When your response is coming from the need to avoid discomfort, insecurity, or fear the whole interaction becomes about working out (or trying to escape from) something in your own worthiness or neediness in the interaction. When we come from that place, we use these strategies blindly (like a reflex) to try to pad ourselves from the tension while also seeking validation in the eyes of the asker. Coming from insecurity also tends to keep all interactions at superficial levels and avoid true connection, conversation, and depth (the opposite of what you are likely intending). The opportunity instead is to come from open-heartedness, curiosity, wisdom, playfulness, and skill. The goal is that you have enough clarity and space inside to choose what to share, how much to share and why. And that you know how to both be in the spotlight as well as to shine the spotlight back on the other person. That you know how to connect without socially fueled fear.
Struggling with this question isn’t just something that those new to business grapple with. Someone can be 10-15 years into their work but still hate this question and struggle with how to answer it. I work almost exclusively with one-of-a-kind (OOAK) entrepreneurs who are already leaders in their field and also pioneering something totally unique in the world—and they are ready to go from OOAK to GOAT (so that many more can positively benefit from their work).
So, we talk about how to describe—and position—that special thing they do frequently.
Here’s the thing, it’s not that “having the best answer” to this question of “what do you do” is so important. It’s what this question—and one’s reaction-- tends to REVEAL. One of the first places we start is by addressing what the questions reveal about them: their underlying patterns, communication or connection skills, and inner game.
Things like:
Unclarity in what you are really offering.
A tendency to overuse jargon versus clear everyday language.
The need to be validated or impress others.
An internal tug of war between wanting to be seen/connect with other people while also wanting to avoid connection.
The fear of being dismissed, labeled or misunderstood.
These underlying (almost invisible) “somethings”, if left unaddressed, will significantly hinder you from having the ability to really expand how you show up and limit the impact (and revenue) that you really desire to have.
There’s probably a part of you that wishes you could just answer it normally, like everyone else. But when you try to do that, it seems to diminish the unique aspect and depth of the transformational work you truly do.
Can I confess something? I only play this game with my clients, because I also play it with myself over the years.
That one question/scenario can still, almost 10 years later, bring back all of my insecurities, all of my worries, and have me right back at the beginner’s table again tempted to blurt something out or run away.
I’m susceptible to the very same tendencies likely you are. The difference is, that I’ve learned to deeply appreciate and lean into that tension. To invite it. To embrace it even…because, I know that on the other side of that discomfort I will always encounter deeper truth.
If answering this question has consistently been difficult for you, it might actually be a good thing. It tells me a few things about you.
It can mean that what you are doing and how you do it is meaningful to you.
It can mean that it’s out of the box and can’t easily be labeled.
It means that there is a whole new level of ownership, depth, and connection waiting for you to unleash and step into.
Grappling with your response and answer to the “What Do You Do” question is an opportunity to lean into your discomfort, to be with it, to hold it, and to see if there’s a whole new layer of who you are, what you want and how you really see your next level of impact.