Imposter Syndrome is that phenomenon where, when someone is up to something, they have moments where they feel like a fake. It’s when their inner voice is taunting them, “what makes you think you are qualified?” “What if you actually can’t do that?”
It’s that fear that keeps us perpetually preparing and taking one more training or one more certification so that we feel “legit.”
It’s that imposter fear that has us nervous to actually ask a human to hire us. To actually say what it is we can do.
Imposter syndrome shows up slightly differently for everyone and there are many variables to take a look at when moving past it. It’s a lot deeper than “believe more in yourself –” the common band-aid advice I hear.
But, honestly, the most direct route I know to address Imposter Syndrome is “Don’t Be an Imposter.” Is what you are offering beyond the scope of your experience? Are you over-promising?
Maybe Imposter Syndrome is an opportunity to be more honest, direct and specific about what we can offer someone. Maybe we can communicate what we can’t promise or deliver, while still honoring what we can.
But the subtle side of “Don’t Be an Imposter” is actually a state of BEING. It’s an energy thing.
When we feel like an imposter (and we actually CAN do what we say we can do), the natural reaction is to “puff up” and try to believe more in ourselves. This can actually make the problem worse as we project this inflated image and talk up how awesome we are and what incredible things we can offer. Now we are concerned with “how we are coming across” and “how people see us.” I say this kindly, that energy is off putting. We all have experienced it!
And, we haven’t yet addressed the heart of the matter...
You don’t actually have anything to prove. And what someone thinks about you isn’t your business.
You are only as skilled as you are (and that’s open to improvement). You can only do what you can actually do (and that can get better, too).
That’s the truth.
And, truth is powerful. When you can accept and stand behind the truth and communicate directly, people feel that. They don’t feel a puppet, a fake “powerful” persona or an image. They feel YOU. You are then being real, truly authentic and solid. Congrats! By standing in the truth of who you are and what you can do at the level you can do it, you are not an imposter anymore.
Alternatively, I have worked with some very qualified clients—whose challenge wasn’t “puffing up”— and we had to practice something else. Instead of pretending to be BIG, they pretend to be SMALL. That’s because owning who they are, what they’ve accomplished and the level of what they can offer is super uncomfortable for them. They are afraid of looking intimidating or being judged as “too much.” This is the other side of Imposter Syndrome.
The same antidote will serve them, too. Truth.
Developing the capacity to truly step in and own who they are and what they can do is incredibly important so that they can actually spread their message and make the difference they know is in them to make. It does require a few inner “tweaks” to their mindset, self-identity and hidden blocks.
But, for the sake of this message today, let it be simple...
Whether you are puffing up (and feel fake/insecure) or playing small (and then feeling fake/resentful)—TRUTH will be your vehicle out.
Remind yourself of the truth of your experience, your skillset, and what you can do. Drop the image and be a solid human, here to make the difference you know you can.