Have you ever put the wrong kind of fuel in your vehicle?
Diesel when you have a gas engine. Low grade when you need high test. Gasp...when you've forgotten altogether that your engine runs on electricity? That's going to create a weird day.
Fuel in engines is critical. If you put the wrong fuel in, it creates....complications.
The higher the performance or specialized engine, the more critical specific kinds of fuel are.
You are that engine. Your inner motivation has been incredibly versatile. Multifuel. A hybrid.
But, just because you CAN run on various fuels doesn't mean that's what your inner circuitry is really thirsting for.
I have a theory that many people get into business, transformation work, or service-based professions for very dysfunctional reasons. Dysfunctional meaning mixed. A bit of truth and inspiration, with a pinch of shame, fear, anxiety, or sometimes working out some kind of love-ability and worth thing.
When I started out, I was on a mission to never, ever, ever be entirely dependent on a person, an institution, or a system again. I wanted to count on only myself so that I could never be let down, and everything I created was my own. That mission was born out of a dark time and was the wake-up call that somewhere along the way, I had learned to be helpless in my own life. And, if I had taught myself to be helpless, I could teach myself to be a capable creator instead. It was a gritty, grimy fuel but drove me in a good direction. I became committed, responsible, humble, and insatiably devoted. (If you are here, making this shift, I recommend you read– nay, study and apply— the book Learned Optimism or Reinventing Yourself.)
The catalyst for my next level was the "laugh." I made the rookie mistake of telling someone my most significant dream for myself and my life (Don't do this, by the way. Choose your confidants intentionally or keep it to yourself). At the time, I didn’t tell this person my dream because I wanted to impress them. I told them because I was excited. They laughed. Not the nice kind, either. The kind of laugh that says, "You? You could never do that or be that". The kind of laugh that dumps icy water on a kindling fire. I remember that day; although I didn't show it, I remember gritting my teeth and setting my focus, determined that no one would ever mock my potential and dream again. I would show myself and then show them-- I would let the quality of my work speak for itself and earn the respect I felt I lacked. Again, this dark fuel worked (ish). It also created those pesky complications, though.
I've spoken with enough creatives, disruptors, pioneers, and entrepreneurs to know I'm not the only one with these kinds of stories. You likely have run on some pretty tough stuff before, too. Things you tell yourself in the dead of night to make yourself "go." Things you remind yourself to feel (rehearsing the pain) to ensure that you succeed. It works -- almost too well for a while. And that's why it's hard to grow beyond. We don't want to go back.
I can track each of those fuel sources to precisely the level of success they got me to. It was alright. But it wouldn't get me any further on that track, creating other "flow issues" in the circuitry. At each new level, my vision and the work asked me again to purify the fuel.
In part, this purification or distillation process is what it means to elevate the game. When you switch fuels, it's weird for a moment while the rough stuff works its way out. It's tempting to dip back into the familiar darkness and drive yourself harder again. But everything changes if you hold steady and give yourself the good stuff. I've seen clients whose face and appearance completely alter as the weight of guilt, fear, and shame they’ve been carrying on the inside drops away. I've seen businesses that were utterly throttled out shift into a whole new gear of glide. I've seen significant revenue or crazy opportunities come seemingly from nowhere -- when in truth-- they were always there. You have to put yourself in a position to receive the upgrade. And the upgrade won't find you when you are still grinding on the grimy stuff.
If you've been running your life and working on mixed or low-grade fuel, consider an upgrade. What got you to your current level works. Until your vision asks more of you than your current fuel can support.
Yes. Eat well. Sleep well. Think well. Move well. Those are the basics.
But, also consider the energetic fuel sources: for high-performance human engines, the fuel we tend to run best on is joy, truth, trust, and pure Love straight from the Source. (I'm not talking about positive bypass or cheap, addictive dopamine hits...different topic, though)
We've all got a dark, savage side that'll get us through the dark days. You can keep that. It can always get you through a lurch. But, we don't sustainably operate best from our darkness. We operate best from high-test fuel--- the purest stuff. Higher values. Virtues. Greater meaning. Devotion. Even Zen-like neutral is better than the torture train.
Stop feeding yourself the thoughts, nightmares, and shame labels you used to get you to where you are now. Allow yourself the upgrade. If you would value help, I'll help you. I didn't do it alone, and you don't have to, either. (In fact, sometimes the "No one can help me. I must prove that I can do it on my own. Support is a crutch for weakness" is a version of watered-down fuel.)
Until next time, fuel well.
P.S. I don't consider humans or innovative business machines. We don't work like that. In our community, we create as artists, train like athletes, question like innovators, and execute like pros. We are warriors, explorers, magicians, and poets. Nevertheless, I said what I said. I stand by the playful but poignant metaphor for this particular message. Choose the good stuff. You and your work are worth the very best.