I had to get uncomfortable first

Some people, I suppose, are virtuous. They begin their metamorphosis purely from desire born of altruistic joy. I did it differently. You see, although I was unhappy—-because those who are trying desperately to fit into a ill fitting box generally are—-I wasn’t miserable. I had days of “good”. I had moments of laughter. From the outside in, I did have a lot of things going for me and had followed the “normal” path. Good upbringing, college education, training in music and the arts, solid health, married, with a newborn healthy baby, normal job. Honestly, it was the “good” ness of all of this that had me confused at heart—-because in the moments. of silence I could feel a void. In the quiet parts, when all activity would cease, I could hear deep in my heart the whisper, “there’s more than this—there has to be more.” I could feel a pulling forward like a current within me. But the void, quiet whispers and gentle pull wasn’t enough for me to risk the “good”—-and I’d generally interrupt the calling with some good old judgment somewhere along the lines of, “what’s wrong with you—-your life is pretty freaking great. Just be grateful. You are fine. Everything is fine.” The whispers would cease and life would continue on it’s default trajectory.

Oh, no, reader—-my metamorphosis wasn’t born of joy. My change came from a drastic, dark turn.

I didn't know my path until I was on it.

Dear seeker, I wish I could tell you how to find your calling, your mission and your heart’s path in this life. Some people know early on—-it’s like they have a life blueprint downloaded in their heads. It was never like that for me. I could see infinite POSSIBLE paths, but never the ONE. So, I became an explorer and a seeker. I tried this and tried that. I felt like Goldilocks—-but without the “juuuusssst right” part. Until, until—-I did. I can’t tell you the moment I knew. I just knew because I was already ON the path and had been for sometime. In hindsight, I really don’t think I’d have ever really found it unless I had started.

I don’t know why I think that—-it’s just how it happened. I think our path is less “out there” and more something we discover within us on our way. The stories that I’ll share will follow that path both in substance and in character. The topics and stories will have the winding, seemingly random elements that mirrors the journey I’ve been on and am still on. The path to wholeness—-the path to home. It’s my intention that you see yourself in what I share. It’s my intention that something deeper here calls to something deep within you.